Today is Tuesday, November 8, 2016 and it is a weird day to say the least. Above all, we are voting for our next President and our choices are Hillary Clinton, and Donald Trump. (The fact that I even just seriously typed that is something I’m still getting over.) Today, we will elect either our first woman president, or America’s first dictator. I can’t find the words to explain how I feel – it’s a mix of nauseous, anxious, over-caffeinated, depressed, nervous, confused, betrayed, terrified… but this guy on twitter really nailed it:

Feels like a combination of Christmas Eve and the day before major, possibly life-threatening surgery.

— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) November 7, 2016

The absolute shit show that has been on repeat over the past few months has shown us the range of people who exist in this world, who are trusted to make huge decisions every. single. day.. I do my very best to make sure I avoid stupid people, mostly because I can control my own actions, but I can’t control any one else’s or how their actions might affect me. I wake up every morning and replay the scenario from when I was 16 asking to borrow my parents’ car, and them reminding me to drive carefully and reminding me that it’s not me they don’t trust, it’s everyone else driving around me. No matter how careful I (and so many other people) have been this election, we’re here, on election day, trusting our futures to total strangers who for whatever reason, support He Who Must Not Be Named. Blows my mind when I think about it.

I don’t watch the news every night, I don’t read the newspaper, and I don’t consider myself the expert on anything political. That said, I also don’t live under a big rock (only a tiny one), and I’ve kept up to date on the biggest issues that have come up during this election. I can have an intelligent conversation about the candidates, and I’ve fielded probably hundreds of questions about both of them from an 8-yr-old during our walk home from school. Sometimes he’ll ask a question about something I just don’t know enough about, but when I try to find the answer, I end up drowning in biased articles online and don’t feel confident in what I’m reading. That in itself is terrifying.

While we’re on the subject, here’s a brief list of other things that terrify me.

–Trump repeatedly publishes and announces false information.
-There are WOMEN who support Trump.
-Melania is married to him. Somebody throw that girl a line.
–Trump publicly mocked a disabled person.
–Mutiple women are claiming that he has sexually assaulted them.
-All of the above things have happened and we are STILL considering him as a candidate.

It should be obvious by now that I voted for Clinton, and stand 100% behind my decision. I am voting as a woman who hopes to have a family someday, and children who will grow up in this country. I am voting not for me, but for them, and for their children, in hopes that when they are raising their own babies, they will have a safe home to live in. I am voting for all of people in other countries who want nothing more than to come to the United States because we are a safe place for them. I am so lucky to have experienced what it is to live in a safe country, and I know that  no matter the outcome of this election, our country and our culture is at a turning point and tonight marks a new normal for us.

I will do everything in my power to protect myself and the people I love, and I’m terrified to imagine a day when I’m powerless. Today, I have the power to vote, and so do you. Go vote. Make your voice heard. Stand in line as long as you have to, and call for pizza if you must. For how horrible our world seems right now, at least there is someone out there sending free pizza to hungry voters, so it can’t be all bad.

For some light reading…

538.com live updates
What to watch for on Election Night (warning, this will stress you out)
How the Electoral College Works – because I’ve never cared so much in my life.